Setting:

Present: JC (Vice-President), JP, TN, GG, SP (SRO), EMM (President), EAM (Student Trustee), MD, SWC (Chair), EE (International Rep), AW (Music Rep), ES (Senior Welfare Officer), AC (Sports and Societies Chair & Keeper of the Couplets), SA (Outreach Chair), WE (Stool), AJ (Librarian), SM (Postgraduate and Mature Students’ Chair), BT (JRO), MaP, MP, DT (Student Trustee), KM (Finance Comm) RSD (Student Trustee), HM (Assistant LGBT+ Rep), JS (Working Class Students’ Rep), MF, RJ (FCO), SG (JRO), KB (JRO), LH (Assistant LGBT+ Rep), RM (LGBT+ Rep)

Apologies: CP (Bailey Wardrobe Manager), JG (Welfare Campaigns Manager)

Absent:

Agenda

Motions

Procedural Motion of Censure Against AC

Elections Equity Clause

REEE

Stolen Music Room Key for Musical Cacophony

Aperiodic Tiling Motion

CRAS Deratification 2.0

Darude Sandstorm

Tiger Named JC

Tie Up BT

Sarco Plank Escapologist

NHS

Women’s Football Budget

Darts Budget

Mixed Lacrosse Budget

BodCon Budget

Choir Budget

Elections

Method IV

Leader of the Song

Orbiting Professor of Martian Anthropology

Golden Bedspring for Fornication

Red Herring for Persistent and Unadulterated Lying

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Soft Cushion for Academic Blagging

Wooden Spoon for Stirring Disharmony

Anonymous Magistrate’s Paper Bag for Technicolour Yawning

Keeper of the Couplets

Wincrete Memorial Trophy

Keeper of the Glass Bell

Sarco Plank Escapologist

Stolen Music Room Key for Musical Cacophany

Method II

Transgender and Non-Binary Rep

Year Abroad and Placement Rep

Green Machine and Hires Manager

Postgraduate Rep

Mature Students’ Rep

Gym Manager

Method I

Communities Officer

Bar Liasion Officer

Fashion Show President

Students with Disabilities Rep

Working Class Students’ Rep

Environment Rep

DUCK Rep

Minutes of previous meeting

Opposition from EAM, which is ignored by the chair.

*Passed on a general aye*

Reports

President

That’s just off the top of my head, but I need a snack now.

Vice-President

Finance & Compliance Officer

Social Chair

Not submitted.

Librarian

Senior Welfare Officer

International Rep

Not submitted.

Outreach Committee Chair

Postgraduate and Mature Students’ Committee Chair

Sports and Societies Chair

Not submitted.

Commmunications Officer

Not submitted.

Facilities Manager

Not submitted.

Chair

Motions

Women’s Football Budget

 

Budget for 2020-21
What are your expected expenses?
Item Item price Quantity Total Cost Amended (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Michaelmas Term Ref fees (league) (£ 12.50 ) 7 £ 87.50
Ref fees (floodlit cup) (£ 12.50 ) 4 £ 50.00
Ref fees (trophy ) (£ 12.50 ) 4 £ 50.00
Pitch hire (floodlit cup) (£ 19.00 ) 4 £ 76.00 If the team reaches the final
Pitch hire (parsons bailey) (£ 20.00 ) 1 £ 20.00
(£ 0.00 ) £ 0.00
(£ 0.00 ) £ 0.00
Epiphany Term (£ 0.00 ) £ 0.00
(£ 0.00 ) £ 0.00
(£ 0.00 ) £ 0.00
(£ 0.00 ) £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Easter Term £
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Total Expenditure £ 283.50
Estimated number of members in 2020-21 40
Subs and other Self-Income
Type of Subs Cost of Subs Number Total Income Amended Cost (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Standard £ 5.00 40 200 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
Overall Total 200 £ 0.00
JCR allocation Currently, the JCR matches the subs you raise. So if you predict you will raise £100 in subs, then you can ask to be allocated up to £100.
Amount requested from JCR £200.00
Are you expecting any other sources of income in 2020 – 2021 and if so please indicate? (Sponsorship, Ticket Sales etc.)
Type of Income Value of Income
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
Overall ‘other income’ Total £ 0.00
Total income £ 200.00
Funding Application
Total Expected Expenditure £283.50
Total Expected Income £200.00
Total Requested from the JCR £200.00
Net for year 2020-2021 £ 116.50
Under normal cicrumstances, surpluses are stored in a club’s reserves and deficits are taken from reserves. If you would like a different arrangement, please explain here.
Further Comments (E.g. Reasons for greater predicted expenditure, what subs are spent on, club structure)
Subs are mostly used to pay for referees and to build reserves in case we need to buy more kits or foot balls.

Discussion

MaP: We’re requesting a budget to pay for referees and kit.

RJ: It’s all in line with what fi comm likes.

*No questions, amendments or opposition*

*Budget passed on a general aye*

Darts Budget

 

Budget for 2020-21
What are your expected expenses?
Item Item price Quantity Total Cost Amended (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Michaelmas Term Board – Winmau Blade 5 [source from amazon] £ 40.00 1 £ 40.00 bought by JCR Note: This item is bought by the darts club but is owned by the JCR so does not need to be covered by subs.
Darts for the bar [ get a set of 6-12 ] £ 12.00 2 £ 24.00 bought by JCR Note: This item is bought by the darts club but is owned by the JCR so does not need to be covered by subs.
Trophy engraving 19/20 £ 15.00 1 £ 15.00
Rubber Oche [easimat or target darts on amazon] £ 35.00 1 £ 35.00
Winmau toe lne stickers [amazon] £ 7.00 3 £ 21.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Epiphany Term £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Easter Term Trophy engraving 20/21 £ 15.00 1 £ 15.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Total Expenditure £ 150.00 86 of darts club.
64 by the bar for board and darts as available to all.
Estimated number of members in 2020-21 25
Subs and other Self-Income
Type of Subs Cost of Subs Number Total Income Amended Cost (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Standard £ 1.50 25 £ 37.50 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
Overall Total £ 37.50 £ 0.00
JCR allocation Currently, the JCR matches the subs you raise. So if you predict you will raise £100 in subs, then you can ask to be allocated up to £100.
Amount requested from JCR £37.50
Are you expecting any other sources of income in 2020 – 2021 and if so please indicate? (Sponsorship, Ticket Sales etc.)
Type of Income Value of Income
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
Overall ‘other income’ Total £ 0.00
Total income £ 37.50
Funding Application
Total Expected Expenditure £150.00 86 Darts club actual expenditure
Total Expected Income £37.50 37.5
Total Requested from the JCR £37.50 37.5
Net for year 2020-2021 -£ 75.00
-11
Under normal cicrumstances, surpluses are stored in a club’s reserves and deficits are taken from reserves. If you would like a different arrangement, please explain here.
Reserves currently stand at £70.41, this would leave us with £59.41 for the year after/reserves for any price increases in equipment.
Further Comments (E.g. Reasons for greater predicted expenditure, what subs are spent on, club structure)
The board and darts are bought for and owned by the bar so should not be used to calculate the subs we need to raise.
Treasurer is also club president.
Obviously a small deficit but high reserves for a small club so makes sense to use them.

Discussion

TN: We’d like to get some new darts and a dart board, but some if it is coming from a general budget. We’ll have a deficit but that’s because we have a reserve.

RJ: They charge cheap subs because they have reserves. The JCR pays for the darts board because everyone uses it.

*No question, amendments or opposition*

*Budget passed on a general aye*

Mixed Lacrosse Budget

Discussion

*No one present, budget delayed for next meeting*

BodCon Budget

 

Budget for 2020-21
What are your expected expenses?
Item Item price Quantity Total Cost Amended (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Michaelmas Term Shakespeare Hall Hire £ 20.00 10 £ 200.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Epiphany Term New Cuth’s building £ 0.00 10 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Easter Term New Cuth’s building £ 0.00 10
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Total Expenditure £ 200.00
Estimated number of members in 2020-21
20
Subs and other Self-Income
Type of Subs Cost of Subs Number Total Income Amended Cost (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Standard £ 5.00 20 £ 100.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
Overall Total £ 100.00 £ 0.00
JCR allocation Currently, the JCR matches the subs you raise. So if you predict you will raise £100 in subs, then you can ask to be allocated up to £100.
Amount requested from JCR £100.00
Are you expecting any other sources of income in 2020 – 2021 and if so please indicate? (Sponsorship, Ticket Sales etc.)
Type of Income Value of Income
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
Overall ‘other income’ Total £ 0.00
Total income £ 100.00
Funding Application
Total Expected Expenditure £200.00
Total Expected Income £100.00
Total Requested from the JCR £100.00
Net for year 2020-2021 £ 0.00
Under normal cicrumstances, surpluses are stored in a club’s reserves and deficits are taken from reserves. If you would like a different arrangement, please explain here.
Further Comments (E.g. Reasons for greater predicted expenditure, what subs are spent on, club structure)

Discussion

*No one present, budget delayed for next meeting*

Choir Budget

 

Budget for 2020-21
What are your expected expenses?
Item Item price Quantity Total Cost Amended (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Michaelmas Term Church Rent £ 50.00 1 £ 50.00
Photocopying and Printing £ 75.00 1 £ 75.00
Sheet Music Purchases £ 2.50 100 £ 250.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Epiphany Term Church Rent £ 50.00 1 £ 50.00
Photocopying and Printing £ 75.00 1 £ 75.00
Sheet Music Purchases £ 2.50 100 £ 250.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Easter Term Church Rent £ 50.00 1 £ 50.00
Photocopying and Printing £ 75.00 1 £ 75.00
Sheet Music Purchases £ 2.50 100 £ 250.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00
Total Expenditure £ 1,125.00
Estimated number of members in 2020-21 20
Subs and other Self-Income
Type of Subs Cost of Subs Number Total Income Amended Cost (leave blank-used by finance committee)
Standard £ 15.00 20 £ 300.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
£ 0.00 £ 0.00 £ 0.00
Overall Total £ 300.00 £ 0.00
JCR allocation Currently, the JCR matches the subs you raise. So if you predict you will raise £100 in subs, then you can ask to be allocated up to £100.
Amount requested from JCR £300.00
Are you expecting any other sources of income in 2020 – 2021 and if so please indicate? (Sponsorship, Ticket Sales etc.)
Type of Income Value of Income
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
£ 0.00
Overall ‘other income’ Total £ 0.00
Total income £ 300.00
Funding Application
Total Expected Expenditure £1,125.00
Total Expected Income £300.00
Total Requested from the JCR £300.00
Net for year 2020-2021 -£ 525.00
Under normal cicrumstances, surpluses are stored in a club’s reserves and deficits are taken from reserves. If you would like a different arrangement, please explain here.
Further Comments (E.g. Reasons for greater predicted expenditure, what subs are spent on, club structure)
£1200 Initial budget for 19/20 £401.25 in reserves Income for 19/20 was £660
We have spent £244.56 so far this academic year, with another £202.44 ready to be refunded by the college.
Of the remaining £753, £125 will be put into our reserves to cover next year’s expected deficit, and £628 will be spent on more music over the next few months.
Anything left in our budget at the end of the academic year will be put into our reserves.

Discussion

MD: We have some money in reserve, we’d like to buy some more music.

RJ: Fi comm is broadly happy. We might need to have a conversation with the new treasurer about the budget though.

*No questions, amendments or opposition*

*Budget passed on a general aye*

Procedural Motion of Censure Against AC

Discussion

AW: Procedural motion of censure against AC

AC: The couplets are coming!

AW: He failed to attend the last meeting without sending apologies, he failed to provide any couplets at the last meeting, and he didn’t provide a report today.

*Motion of censure passed on a general aye*

Elections Equity Clause

The JCR Notes

The JCR Believes

 

The JCR Orders

Election Rules Order:

3.4. Forbidden Campaigning Methods

3.4.1

8)

8.1 Candidates are forbidden from use of offensive and harmful language:

especially based on any aspects of an individual’s identity including but not limited to; gender, sex, sexual orientation, sexuality, disability, religion, race, nationality, ethnicity, educational background, age, appearance, or class. This may include misgendering individuals, making reference unnecessarily to any aspect of an individual’s identity or personalising or belittling any person or group of people.

8.2 Candidates are forbidden from use of or references to subject matter that is construed as offensive including but not limited to, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, classist or ableist. Any other behaviour or language that may be considered as harassing, threatening or violent.

8.3 The SRO and Chair may stop a candidate during their hust if there has been a violation of the aforementioned policy.

 

The JCR resolves

To adopt the following ‘expectations’ and strongly encourage members of the JCR to follow these guidelines

FURTHER BEHAVIOUR EXPECTATIONS

JCR elections should be a safe environment and that is why you are expected to meet this behaviour

The JCR Mandates

Proposer: SP

Seconder: EMM

Discussion

SP: So I’m going to explain this in two parts- Part 1 is the thing that goes into the orders-

As per status quo the current orders dictate that there are two policies which could partially be relevant in certain situations- 1. The ban on negative campaigning 2. The Ban on personally attacking a JCR member. But upon consideration I have found this to be quite limited in it scope if you look at from textualist perspective. Thus, the first part just makes a more specific ban on things that can be considered as racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist or more or less offensive and harmful. It also creates a provision where there is more power given to the SRO and chair to stop a person mid hust when their statements are offensive.

The SRO will be mandated to let the candidates know in the candidates chat about these regulations to avoid incidents that have recently taken place in an oxford JCR meeting where an individual made jokes about the death of George Floyd, this seeks to create an effective redressal system.

The second part of the motion has arisen from experience I have had more recently, now this bit is resolved and not ordered so there isn’t really a punishment or sanction for this but instead the SRO will make a post an encourage members of the JCR to adhere to this. It basically stops people, from belittling, mocking, gesturing then there are bits about content warning which didn’t find a place in our policies so I thought this as a motion has the scope to add these aspects to our meetings this is especially required when sometimes things get personal in welfare elections and is an all-round good practice to have.

This is all in an effort to make the JCR a safe place that is conducive to healthy discussions and a platform to raise issues they are passionate for. It covers broadly protecting individuals and a groups identity and dignity and is something we should always aspire for.

AW: I had a motion that I was planning, but I didn’t get round to doing it for today, but it’s relevant. We keep adopting resolutions, but they’re not kept in once place. So I wanted to add to the chair’s responsibility keeping a list of resolutions and mandates. Could we add to this to make it more effective?

SWC: There is precedent for the chair doing things like this. The guidelines section will go on the website anyway. You may want to propose your motion another time though. Or you could just speak to the chair and ask them to do it.

AW: I think it’s annoying to mandate things that aren’t in a document. I’m happy to just do a motion later.

EE: Is there any precedent for the actions to take in this sort of situation?

SP: There are two aspects. When it’s someone in the audience, we can give warnings and there is precedent of removing someone form he meeting. When talking about husts, there’s already a structure where gov comm meets after the meeting to decide if the candidate should be sanctioned.

EE: So if it’s a candidate, gov comm will meet to decide?

SP: Members of gov comm can raise concerns without complaints.

*Motion passed on a general aye*

REEE

This JCR Notes:

This JCR Believes:

This JCR Resolves:

Proposer: RJ

Seconder: JC

Discussion

RJ: I suggest that rather than a general aye, we should all say reeeeeee. I think it’s a stronger way of approving a motion.

EMM: How often do you say ree?

RJ: I wouldn’t use it in a JCR meeting in any other context.

EE: Would the chair have to ask about passing on a general ree?

RJ: Yes.

JC: Will there be any limits on how long it has to be?

RJ: here’ll be no limits, and a short ree is fine, but people can extend reees if they like to show enthusiasm.

SP: Will this apply to motions of no confidence too? Reeee you’re gone.

RJ: I think it would.

EAM: Would the referenda system allowing rees to be used online?

SP: Yes.

EAM: What about no? Could we replace that?

RJ: I think it’s a separate issue for a separate motion.

*Opposition from MP*

*Opposition retracted*

MP: I think it’s an excellent motion because it allows a more democratic way of passing motions. Aye has strong connotations of, dare I say it, fascism. A ree could liberate our JCR.

*Motion passed on a general reee*

Stolen Music Room Key for Musical Cacophony

 

This JCR Notes:

This JCR Believes

This JCR Resolves

This JCR Orders

In Positions of the JCR Order:

19.13 Stolen music room key for musical cacophony

19.13.1 Elected via: Method IV, Meeting 3.3

19.13.2 Their duties shall be to:

1) Ensure that members do not sing out of tune, key or rhythm in JCR meetings, and provide advice and support for those doing so.

2) Sit ex-officio on the Music Committee

 

Proposer: EAM

Seconder: JC

Discussion

EAM: We don’t have a method IV position that deals with musical wrongdoing. In the last meeting, AW kindly informed me that I’m shit at music, and I think there should be someone to inform people of that. AW also loves the music room key, and I’ve been accused of stealing it before because I have the same initials as EMM. I think we should have a position named after the stolen music room key, and the holder corrects bad music in JCR meetings.

DT: What’s the difference between a conga and a bongo?

EAM: A conga is a large upright drum, a bongo is a small handheld drum that often comes in pairs.

EE: Is it too late to make the music room key an honorary life member of the JCR?

SWC: Yes.

EAM: The first holder will ceremoniously destroy the key in line with Cuth’s guidelines.

JC: A lot of Method IV positions originally came with an object that was handed down. For this position room the music room key would be a natural choice. Amendment that the key become the symbol of the office and be passed down between holders of the position.

AW: I have here a vintage music room key from 2018, before they changed the locks. We could dispose of the keys ceremoniously, and a pass down a more historically significant key.

EMM: RJ just ran upstairs to get his music room key.

AW: I have 2.

EAM: I would be happy with that suggestion. The old music room key won’t be of any use.

RJ: here’s my nostalgic key.

AW: I have your key though.

RJ: This is an older one.

JC: Amendment modified to fit this.

SP: Why are my boxers on JP’s screen?

AC: Last JCR meeting of the year. I think I might shed a tear. The football kicks off in two minutes. These might be the last of my couplets you see in the minutes.

*Amendment passed on a general ree*

*Motion passed on a general ree*

Aperiodic Tiling Motion

This JCR notes:

This JCR believes:

This JCR mandates:

Proposer: MP

Seconder: JC

Discussion

MP: Over the past two years, a great tradition has been revived of presidential inaugural address. I’d like SWC to give us a talk about aperiodic tiling. It’s some weird science shapes that I don’t know much about. Wee should all collectively learn about it.

RJ: Are you wearing a crown, and if so why?

MP: Yes, because I was elected as King of Cuth’s this year.

SP: There has been a tradition of the language not being English. Did you consider changing the language to Greek?

MP: Yes, but I’m not in favour of an amendment.

EMM: It only happened once.

*SP hasn’t read the motion*

EAM: POI Some Penrose tiling uses Greek letters, so there may be some Greek.

SWC: I don’t know anything about maths.

JC: EMM’s discourse wasn’t actually in Spanish, it was just about Spanish. It would be unhelpful for our learning if it was delivered in a foreign language.

*Motion passed on a general ree*

CRAS Deratification 2.0

 

This JCR notes:

This JCR believes:

This JCR resolves:

The Original motion is displayed below for your convenience.

De-ratification of Cuths Ramen Appreciation Society (CRAS) motion

Proposer: EAM

Seconder: JC

This JCR notes:

  • The Cuths Ramen Appreciation Society was formed earlier this year, with the objective of promoting the love of Ramen and other noodle-based snacks and meals amongst its membership
  • That CRAS has had an attempt to collect membership data, which involved collecting people’s names and emails through a google form. This data was never used for any constructive purpose.
  • The CRAS AGM was held the day after summer ball, in SP’s home, with 7 people present.

 

  • The CRAS creation motion was passed with the explicit promises of democratically elected membership:

 

‘JC: I’m aware that there is a fb group chat where people have already decided positions, so I want you to have an AGM where people can run for these so that it’s fair.

FID: that will be the case’

(JCR meeting minutes, 28/2/19, approved on a general aye 12/3/19)

  • There was no mention of the ability to vote to reopen nominations (commonly known as RON) in the minutes.
  • There was minimal advertisement of the AGM, 2 posts before the date and one 15 minutes before the commencing time. No Facebook event was created.
  • The minutes of the CRAS AGM used words such as ‘bitch’, ‘cock and balls’, ‘ramen can shag me’ and other disreputable language.

This JCR believes:

  • Other noodle and pasta-based dishes are avalible and enjoyed by members, which are not currently represented by CRAS
  • CRAS’s data on potential membership was mismanaged and could cause the society to go into disrepute.
  • The CRAS AGM was undemocratic, given it took place in a difficult to access location which (according to the minutes provided) ‘reeks’. It also took place the morning after St Cuthbert’s Society Summer Ball, which, given the nature of the event, may have prohibited the attendance of potential members. This is further supported by the fact none of the elections were contested.
  •  The lack of advertisement failed to attract members who could have voted in the meeting or ran for positions.
  • The language used in the meeting and subsequent minutes brings CRAS and as such St Cuthbert’s Society JCR into disrepute, which may have adverse effects on CRAS and JCR members later in life.
  • The dissolution of CRAS would allow full democracy to return to the JCR.

This JCR resolves:

  • The Cuths Ramen Appreciation Society be dissolved with immediate effect.
  • All mention of CRAS be removed from the Junior Common Room and JCR website (excluding the minutes).
  • CRAS be prohibited to reform unless strict democratic regulations are enforced, and other noodle/pasta-based dishes are included.
  • Any member of the recently ‘elected’ CRAS executive committee should have to down a dirty pint in commiseration.

 

Proposer: EAM

Seconder: JC

Discussion

EAM: A great disservice has been carried out. CRAS is the most undemocratic society on Earth, being North Korea and some other dictatorships. I’m not happy that they exist. Last year I ran a motion, but drank too much beer and didn’t make the meeting. The motion was defeated due to corruption. CRAS are still not very democratic and haven’t apologised for their AGM or rerun it. Their GDPR track record is shoddy We don’t want to be sued for being bad at JCR. Democracy is important. And they haven’t done anything this year. They haven’t even elected an exec. It doesn’t need to exist good riddance.

AW: Procedural motion that we vote on this today, but refer this matter to the exec to prepare a report n the impact of CRAS for the next meeting. I think that the reputational implications could be broad. I’d like a full image of how they’ve affected our JCR.

EAM: I think it should be passed by the trustees too.

AW: I agree.

EMM: I’m concerned it won’t be thorough enough, There should be a word minimum.

AW: 12,000.

EMM: That sounds reasonable.

*Procedural motion passed on a general ree*

JC: Does the procedural motion not mean we don’t vote on it now?

SWC: No

AW: Poor knowledge of the orders.

JC: This is why I’m leaving the exec now.

*Opposition from SP*

*SWC tries to move to a vote*

SP: Challenge to the chair. Can the opposition make a comment.

SP: Blood, sweat and tears were shed for this society. We put more effort into this than Liverpool has ever put into their football.

AW: Motion of censure against SWC because that should have been a point of order not a challenge to the chair.

SWC: We’ll finish this motion first.

*Motion passes*

AW: I would like to censure you, but I’m really tired, so I’ll retract it. With the point that you didn’t know the orders.

SWC: I’m very sorry. This meeting is the peak of my chairing ability.

Darude Sandstorm

This JCR Notes

This JCR Believes

This JCR Repeals

Election Rules Order

Article 1 4.1.2.2 “All elections shall incorporate Re-Open Nominations (R.O.N.) as a candidate.”

Article 2 1.3.3 “Attendees shall be given the option to Reopen Nominations and to abstain.”

Article 3 1.4.7 “The overseer and the panel have the option of Re-opening nominations.”

This JCR Orders

Election Rules Order

Article 1 4.1.2.2 All elections shall incorporate Darude Sandstorm as a candidate. If Darude Sandstorm is elected to a position, candidates who received fewer votes than Darude Sandstorm will not be elected to the position, and the election will be re-run in the next JCR meeting.

1.3.4.6 The hust for the candidate Darude Sandstorm which is automatically included in the election, and for any candidates named Darude Sandstorm, must consist of the song “Sandstorm” by Finnish DJ Darude being played.

2.3.4.7 The hust for the candidate Darude Sandstorm which is automatically included in the election, and for any candidates named Darude Sandstorm, must consist of the song “Sandstorm” by Finnish DJ Darude being played. The automatic candidate will have no speech made by the proposer.

Article 2 1.3.3 Attendees shall be given the option to vote for Darude Sandstorm and to abstain. If Darude Sandstorm is elected to a position, candidates who received fewer votes than Darude Sandstorm will not be elected to the position, and the election will be re-run in the next JCR meeting.

1.2.2.6 The hust for the candidate Darude Sandstorm which is automatically included in the election, and for any candidates named Darude Sandstorm, must consist of the song “Sandstorm” by Finnish DJ Darude being played.

Article 3 1.4.7 The overseer and the panel have the option of offering the position to Darude Sandstorm. If this happens, they must play the song “Sandstorm” by Finnish DJ Darude, and then reopen applications for the position.

This JCR Mandates

Proposer: JC

Seconder: EAM

Discussion

JC: I’ve noticed that RON isn’t very popular in our elections. This brings the danger that I candidate might get a role just because RON isn’t popular. I’ve also noticed that on a lot of Facebook polls, Darude Sandstorm does very well. People clearly like voting for Darude Sasndstorm. I propose that we rename RON to Darude Sandstorms. I believe it will improve the quality of our elections and the engagement and in our elections and ensure that more elections are rerun. Also, I think that the candidate should have the opportunity to hust in elections, and their hust will be the song Sandstorm by Finnish DJ Darude being played for the length of time of their hust. Darude Sandstorm can also be offered a Method III position.

MP: I’m concerned because Method I presidential husts are longer than the song. What would be the procedure?

JC: That’s a really good point I hadn’t considered. I think the way the motion is written, the song would play for it’s gull length and the hust would be over.

JS: I really appreciate the magic of this, I’m concerned that Darude Sandstorm will win every election. I don’t see anyone in the JCR being more important to me than Darude Sadnstorm.

JC: You may well be right, an that’s something to think about very seriously.

EAM: I agree, but Daurde Sandstorm wouldn’t have any policies and we encourage people to vote for policies not person.

AW: I believe that RON got the most votes ever in an election against JC. What are you comments on that?

JC: Me and RON are very good friends, we often run against each and like to support each other. You’re right that RON did very well, and perhaps you should consider that if RON had been called Darude Sandstorm, I would never have been elected to this role, ad maybe the JCR would be a better place for it.

SP: Amendment that this be only for Method IV.

JC: The motion doesn’t currently cover Method IVs, so I think some tighter guidelines should be included.

SP: I want to add Method IV to the election.

BT: No one husts in Method IV elections.

SP: Instead of plating the song, people should sing the song to vote for Darude Sandstorm.

*Amendment passed on a general reee*

EAM: Amendment that it’s optional for Method IV at the SRO’s discretion.

SWC: Not permitted.

*Opposition*

*Motion does not pass*

Tiger Named JC

The JCR Notes

The JCR Believes

The JCR mandates

P.S for reference view 1:35 of this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhlYtUOkptQ&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3Rp5ghqYZK91Bcv1KHxLEtC6_tbOhpMfeBFuGSW2bfFoaeq0OQZWrJZFc

 

Proposer: SP

Seconder: RSD

Discussion

SP: So I would like to divide this speech into two bits, first discussing the motion, for the first time since time immemorial, JC will not be on the exec. Last year an unnamed person referred to JC as the lion of the exec, now Its only fitting that since Cuth’s prefers the tiger, an image of JC be put up outside the Presidents room and the first meeting of every exec begin with a tiger roar but JC for as long as he shall live. It would be interesting to see in the year 2040 exec members calling this old man to hear him rawr but still so fitting.

There are a few people in this world who are blessed with the innocence, beauty, and ability that JC possess. Even though I have only known him for a couple of years, I cant help but admire his contribution tot his college, he has for the last century, lived and breathed Cuth’s and this college will forever be grateful for his magnanimous effort and thousands of students without ever realizing it have had their life changed by this person. It is in my eyes my moral duty to pay tribute to JC and this motion shall forever value his dedication, commitment and hard work into furthering our cause. To JC thank you for your friendship and I know I speak for many many Cuth’s students when I say Thank you for everything you have done for us.

JC: Thanks SP for such a wholesome speech.

EMM: How will we know it’s JC in the tiger outfit?

SP: The legend of JC will haunt these halls like Sir Nicholas from Harry Potter. Also when he’s 40 and working in a church it will be fun to call him and ask him to roar for it.

EAM: His hair and beard might be visible flowing out of the tiger head.

*No amendments or opposition*

*Motion passed on a general reee*

Tie Up BT

This JCR Notes

This JCR Believes

This JCR Resolves

This JCR Mandates

Proposer: JC

Seconder: RJ

Discussion

JC: We discovered on the fi comm vs gov comm social that BT likes to be tied up. There’s a photo of him with a big grin on his face. As he’s our next chair, I think it’s important that he’s always relaxed and comfortable., so I think he should be tied up during meetings. The stool should tie him up, and I’ve even been nice and mandated that the stool untie him at the end.

EAM: We take consent very seriously in Cuth’s. We wouldn’t him feeling uncomfortable. I’d like to propose an amendment that BT is asked for his consent before being tied up and that he can be untied at any point.

*Amendment passed on a general ree*

SP: The layout of Brooks bar would make it hard for him to count votes.

JC: he has minions that we call JROs who could run around and count them.

EMM: He could be tied to a wheely chair.

AW: We could just never hold meetings in Brooks bar.

SWC: Great lateral thinking.

SP: How does this work if the meetings are over zoom?

EMM: The stool could throw him the end of the rope and he could spin around.

BT: I have a few questions. I’m glad the vote counting has been addressed. My other question I how I’d be tied. Ideally I’d like to sit on a stool, but they have no back. I don’t like to pleasure and work. It says that I’d be more relaxed tied up, but I’m generally not relaxed when tied up. One of the main roles of the chair is to interact with freshers, and it might be difficult to have conversations and move about whilst tied up.

*Opposition so a vote is called*

*Motion does not pass*

Sarco Plank Escapologist

The JCR Notes

The JCR Believes

The JCR mandates

  1. the FCO and Finance Committee to purchase a land deed of planet Mars from the website “LunarLand.com” on behalf of St. Cuthbert’s Society JCR.
  2. The plaque to be displayed prominently on a wall in Cuth’s Bar, so its easier for fleeing Cuth’s students to grab it on their way to Mars.

The JCR orders

Position’s Order

19.13 The Sarko Plank Escapologist

19.13.1 Elected via: Method IV, Meeting 3.3

19.13.2 Their duties shall be to-

1) Draft detailed evacuation plans, including ways to ensure that the following but not limited to Cuth’s artefacts are preserved- Brownie Bomber recipe, JCR Minutes, the Mascot uniform and soil from the House 12 garden.

Proposer: SP

Seconder: JC

Discussion

SP: Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I’d like to take a minute

Just sit right there

I’ll tell you how I became the sole survivor of a college called Cuthber’

In 8 South Bailey born and raised

In the bar was where I spent most of my days

Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool

And all shootin some b-bombers outside of the school

When a couple of guys who were up to no good

Started making climate change in my neighborhood

I got in one little hospitalization and Elizabeth got scared

She said ‘You’re movin’ with your aunty and uncle in mars’

I begged and pleaded with her day after day

But she packed my suit case and sent me on my

She gave me some minutes and then she gave me my recipes.

I put my DLB on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.

Space X, yo this aint bad

Drinking Brownie Bomber out of a champagne glass.

Is this what the people of Elon musk living like?

Hmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they’re Castle-y, hatfield, all that

Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?

I don’t think so

I’ll see when I get there

I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Cuthber’

Well, the rocket landed and when I came out

There was a dude who looked like corbridge standing there with my name out

I ain’t trying to get ripped off yet

I just got here

I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near

The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror

If anything I could say that this cab was rare

But I thought ‘Nah, forget it’ – ‘Yo, homes to Cuthber’

I pulled up to the house about seven or eight

And I yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes smell ya later’

I looked at my college

I was finally there

To sit on my throne as the Prince of Cuthber’

EAM: POI, the company is well known to be a massive scam, so I don’t think the JCR should actually fund them.

SP: This is a motion to buy a deed of land on Mars. It’s preparing for us in the case that we need to esacpe earth. There’ll be a Method IV positon for the person that leaves to set up pur community on Mars.

MF: What’s meant by shittons of money?

SWC: The updated motion says no more than £40.

RJ: We do have shittons of money. More than £200k.

SWC: Shittons.

SP: POI It’s actually no more than £30.

EAM: Amendment that we don’t pay any money.

MP: Amendment that we use JCR funds to support a mission to Mars. It might cost more than £40 though.

JP: Amendment that the current SRO pays for it personally.

AW: We have a stargazing society which has a £100,000 space exploration subscription model. Maybe we should allocate this £30 to them to benefit their space exploration activities.

SP: Shit everywhere. Everyone gets shit. The JCR already owes me money because I didn’t get a receipt.

*Argument between RJ and SP about a receipt.*

MP: I retract my amendment.

AW: My amendment should come after JP’s.

SWC: I feel like I’m marrying someone.

JP: I do.

AW: The amendment is that SP has to pay £30 to Cuth’s stargazing society to fund an expedition to Mars.

*Opposition to the amendment*

*Amendment has not passed*

SP: Amendment that we create a trust for the money rather than giving it to Lunar land.

SP: I withdraw my amendment.

EAM: I’ve had too much beer. I’d like to have the position without any money. Amendment that we remove the money aspect.

*Amendment passed on a general ree*

*Opposition to the amended motion*

*Motion passes*

NHS

This JCR Notes

This JCR Believes

This JCR Resolves

Proposer: JC

Seconder: EAM, RJ, MJPC, WXN, SW, ABLC, MW, RW, CW, IS, JR, RSD, MP, AS

Discussion

JC: There’s been an unofficial group meeting in Cuth’s for may years that celebrates nude hour. I think we should ratify them as a society, so that they can reach out to more people and expand their membership base. I’ve proposed a budget of £5,000 to cover any fines that might be incurred in the execution of their activity.

RJ: I did some research into JC’ numbers, and we came to the conclusion that £5,000 was excessive for a society with only 5 members. The offense that they’d likely be prosecuted for Is outraging public decency, which needs more than just being naked. There are only 500 cases per year of this in the UK, so it’s unlikely to happen. The only fine I’ve found was for £400 and £500. So we’ve suggested reducing the budget to £500.

JC: I’d like to thank RJ for his hard work in that research. I completely understand finance comm’s decision, and on second thoughts £500 does seem reasonable so I’m happy to reduce it.

EAM: Could you please describe nude hour?

JC: Primarily, people get naked for a n hour. The traditional ritual is to run from House 8 to Prebends Bridge and back.

SWC: Are you wearing shoes?

JC: Not right now.

SWC: In the ritual?

JC: I can’t remember.

RJ: We did when we did it JC.

SWC: I’m not convinced that’s fully naked.

MF: Is this legal for the JCR to endorse?

RJ: It’s complicated because the law for nudity is that it accommodate nudists. The offence would be outraging public decency, but the NHS tries to minimise disruption by doing this at an unsociable hour to minimise the chance of being seen and causing offence. If more than two people can have seen you then it’s bad. I’m not an expert though.

*Opposition from JC so a vote is called.*

*On first count, vote is tied.*

*On second count, motion does not pass*

Elections

Method II

Transgender and Non-Binary Rep

No Candidates

Year Abroad and Placement Rep

No Candidates

Green Machine and Hires Manager

No Candidates

Postgraduate Rep

No Candidates

Mature Students’ Rep

No Candidates

Gym Manager

No Candidates

Method I

Communities Officer

Candidates

EE

Request New Candidates

Husts

EE:

Questions

Bar Liasion Officer

No Candidates

Fashion Show President

No Candidates

Students with Disabilities Rep

No Candidates

Working Class Students’ Rep

Candidates

GG

Request New Candidates

Husts

Georgia Greatrex:

Questions

Environment Rep

No Candidates

DUCK Rep

No Candidates

Method IV

Leader of the Song

Nominations: EAM, AW

SP: You do not need their consent to nominate them.

EAM: You need to go to a consent workshop.

*AW elected*

Orbiting Professor of Martian Anthropology

EMM: We all need to stand up

AW: MP is only 14.

Nominations: MP, ES

*MP stands up and is very short*

Nominations: KM

*KM elected*

Golden Bedspring for Fornication

EAM: I almost walked in on EMM and AB once.

Nominations: EMM and AB.

EAM: SP has been walked on practicing before.

JC: Does what SP does count as fornication?

*EMM is elected*.

Red Herring for Persistent and Unadulterated Lying

EMM: MP for saying he was elected King of Cuth’s

KM: JS

EAM: BT

AW: JR because of his emails about the music room.

JS: ES for pretending he’s gay

KM: Vimspace

EMM: P? the Porter because he lies to me so much that I cried the other day.

EAM: I’ve heard BT screaming about the standing orders from his room, which suggests that he does mix business and pleasure and therefore lied earlier.

JC; DT for calling himself Lord President of karaoke.

AW: SP for calling himself a champion of democracy despite being on the exec of CRAS.

Candidates: JS, MP, BT, JR, Vimspace, ES, P? the Porter and SP

*ES has been elected*

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

*EAM makes a statement which against our rules on bullying*

SP: AW and JRG.

AW: SWC and not being impartial

EAM: Fresher of the year and dropping out

SWC: What was that in reference to?

AW: In the last few meetings there have been a few too many opinions.

SWC: You’re allowed your opinion

SM: JW and EA

Candidates: AW and JG, SWC and not being impartial, BT and the Rope, AW and the music room key, AW and the standing orders. JW and EA

*Fresher of the year and dropping out has been elected*

EE: I drew a picture of you SP.

Soft Cushion for Academic Blagging

EAM: JW, South College

EMM: Fucking South College

Candidates: ES, JW, South College

*JW is elected*

AW: Can we as a JCR reject South as a stupid name?

EAM: They’re just waiting for someone to pay up.

Wooden Spoon for Stirring Disharmony

SP: Most of your friends don’t read the minutes so it’s ok to be ok

Nominations: SC, G? from the DSU, Covid-19, RON Campaign, RON

*G? from the DSU is elected*

EAM: Could you please email him to inform him?

Anonymous Magistrate’s Paper Bag for Technicolour Yawning

EMM: EAM, on the full bollege car brawl, mid conversation he chunned in a pint glass and it was blue. Then he just put it on the bar.

JP: I was in the JCR with RSD and SP, we were waiting for something. SP pissed himself. He said “sorry guys, I was just so excited*

EAM: On the college car brawl, SP pissed against the Union and also pissed on himself. I blame my chun on the smell of a piss covered SP.

JP: Have you pissed on the Union twice?

SP: Yes.

SP: CG once threw up an entire subway sandwich out of here mouth. It was completely whole and sat on Elvet bridge for 2 weeks. Her oesophagus must be humongous.

*EAM is elected*

Keeper of the Couplets

Nominations: ABLC, JS, BT, LH, EA, SM, G? from the SU, the King of Cuth’s

*SM is elected*

Wincrete Memorial Trophy

*EAM finishes in 5 seconds, while EMM has barely won.*

*EAM, the pride of CRACAS, has been elected*

Keeper of the Glass Bell

Nominations: BT, WXN, SP

*BT is elected*

Sarco Plank Escapologist

Nominations: JC, MP, SM, EAM, JS, AW, RR, next year’s exec

*JS is elected*

Stolen Music Room Key for Musical Cacophany

Nominations: AW, JRG, AL

*JRG is elected*

SP: Good Evening, words fail me at this time to me how grateful I m for you to allow me to live my dream. I don’t know your life stories, and most of you don’t know mine, don’t worry I wont bore you with it, for the record it take 85 minutes to tell it all. But this opportunity has meant more and shaped me in more ways then I can ever confess to you. I would like to take this moment to thank a few people for helping me through this entire process. Must start with my college family RSD, CC, RP, CG, FD, JP, I have missed a kid but standing orders don’t allow me to say it but know that I love you too. My predecessor, AB, Presidents EMM and AK, RJ, Chairs SWC and EC, JROs BT, KB, SG, EJ, OM, SM, and OB the first. JC. The best friends a person could have ever asked for despite me looking at them in freshers and thinking what a bunch of losers, you have given me happiness, love and acceptance TK, MC, SS, TS, EJ, JZ, CC and JC ofc. Over the last three years, my role in helping people run to live their passions, what some might call a merchant of dreams, getting to talk to all of you will always live with me as my most treasured memories. They say when you die you see your life go back in flashes, I promise you that me standing in the hust circle screaming congratulation you have been elected will feature in those flashes. Thank you and God Speed.

Song

*Sung badly and out of time due to being over zoom*

EAM: This has ended my year as leader of the song, and it has been the best year of my life, so thank you very much. I’m sure my successor the right honourable AW will do a fantastic job.

Meeting Adjourned